Destructo-dog

Lets assume for a moment that dogs can talk. My canine question of the day is: "how would you open a zipper?"

Really though, I would love to know the answer. I put Parker in his pen this morning while I showered. While in there, I had a nagging suspicion that he was up to something, but I chalked it up to the sound of the garbage truck outside. Oh was I wrong. When I walked into the living room, he looked up at me with something beige in his mouth. My immediate thought: "it couldn't be...oh shit, it is." Styrofoam.

My little son had managed to open the zipper under his bed and start pulling out the styrofoam cushion with his puggy teeth. It was really unclear how much of it he actually ate, and how much he just pulled out. Lets just say that a good 1/3 of the styrofoam is no longer attached.

This raises a number of questions:
1) HOW DID HE OPEN THE ZIPPER?
2) How could styrofoam possibly taste good?
3) Why is he so pissed off at me?
4) Why do all of the good quality beds have to cost over $100? (The one that he just destroyed was around $30 from Petco. I don't recommend them anymore.)
5) Does styrofoam expand in a dog's stomach? (I asked Nik this question while I was still standing in my towel giving Parker a death stare. She told me that he wasn't going to die just because his eyes were getting droopy. That in fact, he was probably just tired from his hard earned snack.)
6) When will our dog stop being descructo-pug?

Pay some attention to me, please.

Unfortunately, Nikki and I have had various things going on the past few evenings, and Parker isn't too happy about it. He's feeling ignored and perhaps slightly pissed off. Both Tuesday and Wednesday, I came home to feed him and take him for a walk, and then I had to put him back in his pen. One night he actually hid from me under the coffee table (that was fun), to avoid being left again. It broke my heart a little bit, until I realized that I was running late and became annoyed.

Both nights, we returned and found his pen in COMPLETE disarray. It looked like a tornado hit the 3' x 3' square of the living room that is his space. He had flipped over his bed, pulled the towel off of the top of the crate, spilled his water, pulled all the blankets out of the inside of the crate, and shifted the shape of his pen from a square into lightning bolt. I wish I had a picture of this, but don't worry I'm sure that I'll have more opportunities to capture it on camera.

So that's clearly how Parker deals with being pissed off at us. I interpret pen destruction to mean "F you, moms. now clean this up and i'll go grab one of your socks and hide under the bed."

This morning, I tried to spend a little extra time playing with him before getting ready for work. We played fetch with his donut:

...which I adore because half the time you can't see his face, just a giant red blob coming towards you. He's been really into keep away lately. He gets bored with fetch after 3 or so minutes and gets into his "come and get me sucka" pose. Great fun for all involved.

When he (begrudgingly) went into his pen this morning, I promised him some quality time tonight.

Woodchip war take two...

We just returned from a failed attempt to the dog park...due to WOODCHIP CONSUMPTION. We had a moment of hope when we arrived. Parker took off after one of the local puggles, only to stop after about 2 minutes and snack on some chips. It only went downhill from there.

Once we decided to leave (after only being there for 6 minutes tops), Nik made a very swift move across the park to stop him from eating a big one. Never knew her to be a sprinter but I swear she looked like an elk. It was impressive.

And now here we are back at home in the A/C. Parker sitting on the couch next to me chewing on one of his toys, his stinky breath wafting in my direction.

Saturday morning

Doesn't he look like such an angel. Unfortunately he wasn't one at 6:10 am, 7:00 am, or 7:40 am...when we enjoyed his barking until Nik finally got up. He's lucky he's so cute.

Waiter?

Possibly the best shot ever of Bob and Parker.

Sneaky bastard

Nikki picks me up from work last night and here is the conversation in the car.

N: "So, um, earlier when I was at home with Parker...I was putting clothes away and then I came back into the living room and he was chewing on something."

K: "Something like what?"

N: "Well, you know your Sony iPod dock?"

K: "Oh, shit."

N: "Yeah, I'm not sure the remote works anymore. He put two BIG chew marks right through the top."

K: "Jesus. I hope you yelled at him, like, BADLY."

N: "Oh yeah, he wouldn't come near me for 15 minutes."

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

I came home and tested it out. No surprise, it doesn't work. Then I had some choice words for Parker. (I'll refrain from quoting them here.)

In other news, Parker is having a great day post remote chomping. He's on a playdate with his most favorite companion, Bob. It's been about a month since these two have hung out, and apparently when Nik dropped him off this morning, he was beside himself with excitement. Here's the happy couple now...

Howie, I heart you.

http://www.boston.com/travel/explorene/specials/pets/pets_on_summer_vacation_09?pg=48

Amazingly perfect

"Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack." - Jen Lancaster

WOODCHIP WAR

Monday @ 7:00 am: Parker and I went on a lovely stroll and ended up stopping at the dog park. There weren't any puppies there but someone is nosy (who knew his name would end up being so appropriate), and wanted to do some sniffing. I warily opened the door and assumed my YOU WILL NOT EAT WOOD CHIPS position. To my pleasant surprise, Parker did not go for the chips. He just walked around the entire perimeter, sniffing as he went. He never does that when other dogs are there, but when he's running the show, he apparently likes to survey the entire area and see what he's been missing. It was so nice to actually feel relaxed while at the park.

Fast forward thru me going to work...Parker taking a nap...going to playgroup with the dog walkers and his buddies...followed by a series of naps....

5:45 pm: I came home from work, fed the monster and set out for our walk over to the park. I was feeling positive coming off of our experience there less then twelve hours earlier. There were probably 3 or 4 dogs there, including one who was really excited to play! So, what does Parker do? He walks in there, pees, and then goes to work EATING WOODCHIPS. Oh man was I pissed. So, as our trainer Melissa instructed, I put his leash back on so that I could correct him when he tried to go for it. He literally does not care how many times I give him a verbal correction and/or a firm tug and "NO." Could not care LESS in fact. It is so, so frustrating. I even held onto the leash and walked around with him, and he would STILL go for the chips. There were moments when someone threw a ball for their dog, and Parker would get excited so I'd let him run after them. He would go about halfway....bend down...and start eating again. I. ALMOST. LOST. MY. MIND. We left and went home.

Me = defeated
Parker = stomach full of wood chips, face showing no remorse

Broke due to pug

Parky and I are on our own again for a few days as Nik went on a little mini vacation. Attempting to be a super responsible single mother, we headed over to the vet this morning to get his Revolution, because he is overdue. (Making me not such a responsible parent.) The woman at the desk noticed that he is almost one year (how the hell did he get so old so quickly?), and said that it would make sense for him to get his heartworm test. Once I recovered from the idea of them having to take blood and me not being back there to comfort him, I started to realize that this probably wasn't going to be an inexpensive visit.

$176 later, his test was clear, we have 6 months of Revolution, his nails have been clipped, he has more C.E.T. chews for his nasty breath, and I am broke.

Poor Wally

After posting this morning, I checked in on Walter's blog, to see how the little man is feeling today. I am so ashamed for complaining about having to wake up at 6 am to walk Parky. I have nothing to complain about. My guy is happy and healthy and poor Wally is struggling just to sleep or go to the bathroom outside.

A little perspective goes a long way. It's frightening to think about how quickly life can change. Literally at a moment's notice.

Sending truck loads of good wishes to Wally. (So does Parky.)

Too early

I go to bed last night completely exhausted. Even managed to talk Nikki into walking him (since I usually do the nighttime shift). At the time, it didn't sound like a bad idea to trade for the morning walk.

So everything was grand until someone started barking at 6 am....and guess who had to get up?! I'm totally not bitter.

In news that's completely unrelated to Parker, saw The Hangover last night and it's hysterical. Go. See. It. Now.

Morning time with yurtle the turtle

:(

Sending every positive thought/wish that I have to Walter and his mom Heather. I can't imagine what Heather is going through right now. Parker and I are wishing for Walter's speedy recovery.

Just the thought of that happening to Parker makes me want to cry.

Sunday at the park...

FINALLY a nice weekend in Boson, so we decided to venture to the dog park in the South End w/Parky pants. He was quite thrilled (see above). We've made a habit of taking a trip to Polka Dog right after we leave the park, which is about two blocks away. Smarty pants hauls over there (he's no fool) so that he can stick his nose in every single bucket of bones, chews, you name it. It's literally a candy store for pups.

He had a pretty good weekend I must say. We had friends over last night for a BBQ so he got a whole lotta lovin. In fact, there were ladies fighting for his attention! OK that's my brief update. Now back to searching for a new harness since he's balding under his front legs from his current puppia...

Mama's boy

As many of you who have dogs probably know, their alliegence (read: obsession) to particular parents is known to vary from week to week. This week, he has been glued to my girlfriend Nikki's hip. Seriously. Glued. He follows her from room to room. If she's getting ready in the bathroom mirror, he either sits on the bathroom rug looking up at her (above photo!) or will bring a toy and lie down on the runner in the hallway just outside of the bathroom...so that he has a good view of her and anything else that may be happening in the apartment. Because, there's no telling when a sock might fly through the air that he'll be interested in, or better yet, I may rise from the couch and walk over to the refrigerator. In this case, it's imperative that he position himself appropriately in case I clumsily drop a spare crumb.

The kicker is that Nikki left this morning for a work retreat. Uh-oh for Parky. What will he do without his most favorite mom? I will likely introduce distractions...and perhaps bribery. Can you say dog store tonight? I can.

WTF

There is something really wrong and weird about this.