Destructo-dog

Lets assume for a moment that dogs can talk. My canine question of the day is: "how would you open a zipper?"

Really though, I would love to know the answer. I put Parker in his pen this morning while I showered. While in there, I had a nagging suspicion that he was up to something, but I chalked it up to the sound of the garbage truck outside. Oh was I wrong. When I walked into the living room, he looked up at me with something beige in his mouth. My immediate thought: "it couldn't be...oh shit, it is." Styrofoam.

My little son had managed to open the zipper under his bed and start pulling out the styrofoam cushion with his puggy teeth. It was really unclear how much of it he actually ate, and how much he just pulled out. Lets just say that a good 1/3 of the styrofoam is no longer attached.

This raises a number of questions:
1) HOW DID HE OPEN THE ZIPPER?
2) How could styrofoam possibly taste good?
3) Why is he so pissed off at me?
4) Why do all of the good quality beds have to cost over $100? (The one that he just destroyed was around $30 from Petco. I don't recommend them anymore.)
5) Does styrofoam expand in a dog's stomach? (I asked Nik this question while I was still standing in my towel giving Parker a death stare. She told me that he wasn't going to die just because his eyes were getting droopy. That in fact, he was probably just tired from his hard earned snack.)
6) When will our dog stop being descructo-pug?