Destructo-dog

Lets assume for a moment that dogs can talk. My canine question of the day is: "how would you open a zipper?"

Really though, I would love to know the answer. I put Parker in his pen this morning while I showered. While in there, I had a nagging suspicion that he was up to something, but I chalked it up to the sound of the garbage truck outside. Oh was I wrong. When I walked into the living room, he looked up at me with something beige in his mouth. My immediate thought: "it couldn't be...oh shit, it is." Styrofoam.

My little son had managed to open the zipper under his bed and start pulling out the styrofoam cushion with his puggy teeth. It was really unclear how much of it he actually ate, and how much he just pulled out. Lets just say that a good 1/3 of the styrofoam is no longer attached.

This raises a number of questions:
1) HOW DID HE OPEN THE ZIPPER?
2) How could styrofoam possibly taste good?
3) Why is he so pissed off at me?
4) Why do all of the good quality beds have to cost over $100? (The one that he just destroyed was around $30 from Petco. I don't recommend them anymore.)
5) Does styrofoam expand in a dog's stomach? (I asked Nik this question while I was still standing in my towel giving Parker a death stare. She told me that he wasn't going to die just because his eyes were getting droopy. That in fact, he was probably just tired from his hard earned snack.)
6) When will our dog stop being descructo-pug?

Pay some attention to me, please.

Unfortunately, Nikki and I have had various things going on the past few evenings, and Parker isn't too happy about it. He's feeling ignored and perhaps slightly pissed off. Both Tuesday and Wednesday, I came home to feed him and take him for a walk, and then I had to put him back in his pen. One night he actually hid from me under the coffee table (that was fun), to avoid being left again. It broke my heart a little bit, until I realized that I was running late and became annoyed.

Both nights, we returned and found his pen in COMPLETE disarray. It looked like a tornado hit the 3' x 3' square of the living room that is his space. He had flipped over his bed, pulled the towel off of the top of the crate, spilled his water, pulled all the blankets out of the inside of the crate, and shifted the shape of his pen from a square into lightning bolt. I wish I had a picture of this, but don't worry I'm sure that I'll have more opportunities to capture it on camera.

So that's clearly how Parker deals with being pissed off at us. I interpret pen destruction to mean "F you, moms. now clean this up and i'll go grab one of your socks and hide under the bed."

This morning, I tried to spend a little extra time playing with him before getting ready for work. We played fetch with his donut:

...which I adore because half the time you can't see his face, just a giant red blob coming towards you. He's been really into keep away lately. He gets bored with fetch after 3 or so minutes and gets into his "come and get me sucka" pose. Great fun for all involved.

When he (begrudgingly) went into his pen this morning, I promised him some quality time tonight.

Woodchip war take two...

We just returned from a failed attempt to the dog park...due to WOODCHIP CONSUMPTION. We had a moment of hope when we arrived. Parker took off after one of the local puggles, only to stop after about 2 minutes and snack on some chips. It only went downhill from there.

Once we decided to leave (after only being there for 6 minutes tops), Nik made a very swift move across the park to stop him from eating a big one. Never knew her to be a sprinter but I swear she looked like an elk. It was impressive.

And now here we are back at home in the A/C. Parker sitting on the couch next to me chewing on one of his toys, his stinky breath wafting in my direction.

Saturday morning

Doesn't he look like such an angel. Unfortunately he wasn't one at 6:10 am, 7:00 am, or 7:40 am...when we enjoyed his barking until Nik finally got up. He's lucky he's so cute.

Waiter?

Possibly the best shot ever of Bob and Parker.

Sneaky bastard

Nikki picks me up from work last night and here is the conversation in the car.

N: "So, um, earlier when I was at home with Parker...I was putting clothes away and then I came back into the living room and he was chewing on something."

K: "Something like what?"

N: "Well, you know your Sony iPod dock?"

K: "Oh, shit."

N: "Yeah, I'm not sure the remote works anymore. He put two BIG chew marks right through the top."

K: "Jesus. I hope you yelled at him, like, BADLY."

N: "Oh yeah, he wouldn't come near me for 15 minutes."

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

I came home and tested it out. No surprise, it doesn't work. Then I had some choice words for Parker. (I'll refrain from quoting them here.)

In other news, Parker is having a great day post remote chomping. He's on a playdate with his most favorite companion, Bob. It's been about a month since these two have hung out, and apparently when Nik dropped him off this morning, he was beside himself with excitement. Here's the happy couple now...

Howie, I heart you.

http://www.boston.com/travel/explorene/specials/pets/pets_on_summer_vacation_09?pg=48